Archive for January, 2009

On the list of things we’re doing, appointments we are setting up for The Scientist is a pain tolerance test.

The day it was mentioned to me I was on massive information overload, but felt reasonably sure that the questions I did have I also had the textbooks and connections to find at least generic answers. I’ve found some solid information on what a pain tolerance test includes, thanks DrGreene! and none on where to go for one. I did find out how to do your own home pain tolerance test without all the medical expense and silly monitoring gadgets — let me know if you’re interested.

It’s ok that I didn’t know and couldn’t find anything, that’s why we have primary physicians right? I put in a call to see if we needed to come in for a referral (we were in just 2 weeks earlier for the sole purpose of getting referred for most of the other list of appointments Mike needs, and told to call if there was anything else needed) and the receptionist said that she’d just ask but that she thought we should be fine without an appointment. Finally, I catch a break to make it a little easier on me.

She just called me back to let me know that the doctor doesn’t know either. At least it’s just not me being deficient in an area I should know more about.

If there are webpages dedicated to doing your own home pain tolerance test without all the medical expense and gadgets, surely clinical pain tolerance tests must exist out there somewhere. I am still baffled as to why anyone would want or need a home pain tolerance test.

If a clinician needs the information they are going to want it with the gadgets and monitoring gizmos, and I can’t imagine having a desire for that information for your own personal needs.

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It's cold, it's slick, it's wet, but it's still beautiful

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The Empty Chair

The Empty Chair

excuse the too deep depth of field, the cluttered background, and the snow, please please let us all pretend the snow doesn’t exist.

This is our version of The Empty Chair this year.

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I Am ….

I am reading!

This milestone effectively ends the days of being able to ask if we should go get i-c-e-c-r-e-a-m ever again.

I Am....reading!

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Occasionally someone will say something that I have a hard time letting go.

We have some new grad nurses orienting to the hospital, some of them I know from school. One of them asked me on Friday why I was so nice all the time and never yelled after I told my CNA “I’m sorry”

I was a bit taken back, and my patience for tolerating other people has been down this week. Things that don’t typically bug me I had a hard time moving past.

I told him that I said I was sorry because I got interrupted from what I was originally doing (computer charting in the room) and didn’t go back and log out so she had to come find me before she could do her job. Anytime I needlessly make someone else do more because I did less I’m going to be sorry about it. I try to make it easier for my CNA not harder.

He did that mentally rolling your eyes thing that since I’ve gotten a tween I’m getting better at recognizing.

I should have let it go, but just couldn’t.

I told him that being nice and doing nice things makes me happy and I like being happy. Yelling makes no one feel good, and even if there is a problem that needs to be addressed it isn’t an effective way to deal with it.

I think I’m stuck on this because I’m finding myself yelling more at home, and I don’t like it, it’s not effective, and it makes everyone miserable. Who uses nice as a insult anyways?

Please Monday, hurry up and get here.

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Life Marches On

If only there were a button to pause life occasionally, or aspects of life.

I haven’t been home for more than a few awake hours since Thursday (not Thursday the 23rd, the Thursday before that) but life has gone in the house. My house is such a disaster that I honestly don’t know even where to start. I want to spent the day on the computer figuring out why my Flickr buttons aren’t working and catching up with people who have given me support just when I needed it the most.

While I’ve been hyper focused on what is going on with The Scientist life all around me has gone on. Clothes need to put through the wash, dishes are piled in the sink and stuff is everywhere. Somehow the Christmas tree hasn’t managed to take itself down either. I’m a little afraid to look through backpacks at homework left undone. Paul’s plant is still looking at closing, major layoffs, or cutting back on hours.

So, today I suck it up and try to find a way to return to normal, or at least my normal.

I am going to go shooting later today though, and I hope to figure out the Flickr button.

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Hmmm, Interesting


I don’t know how many times I’ve told a patient “that’s interesting” not because I was hiding some big secret but because some things are just well, interesting. I try to not do it much because it doesn’t give the patient much information about your thought process. Honestly though, sometimes there isn’t much to give especially as a nurse I frequently pass information along to the physicians who figure out the more interesting things.

I will do my best from this point forward to never use the word interesting when a patient is talking about their symptoms or what has been going on with them medically.

Why?!? Well interesting is my new least favorite word.

I do think it is important to know that I don’t disagree, The Scientist is very interesting. I knew that before I made the trip to SLC. Fortunately interesting is now getting looked into.

Monday morning we started at 0900. Some of the testing the school district had done was some that she had planned on doing so that would save us some time and it was possible that we might get everything done on Monday.

I go sit out in the waiting room and start formulating plans for my suddenly free day in the city but not a lot of money for non-necessities. By 1100 the psychologist came back out with more assessments for me (feel free to insert sarcastic excitement here) and said that she had added some assessments she wanted to do and that we would be pushing to get done in both days.

I lost count the number of times she said interesting while scribbling down notes, and at the end of Tuesday when I talked with her she had a stack of things he had done that were interesting.

She also added a pain tolerance test (anyone have any real insight here for me?) to the list of other testing she would like done but needs a referral from our PHP.

[for those wondering about the flower bud, I feel and hope we are just on the cusp of everything opening up to us. I don’t know what’s on the side yet, much like when I planted the mystery seeds that turned into that bud]

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Last summer The Informer was at the point on her bike that I was thinking of pulling off her training wheels when she ran over a patch of puncture weeds (aka goat heads) and had a permanently flat tire. We never got her tire fixed, and she hasn’t ridden all winter long.

Until yesterday.

I dropped the kids off while I went to a baby shower to visit and The Informer came home with a new bike and matching princess helmet. Did great, she just really did not want us to let go.

don't let go!!!

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Almost got one

I remember being in elementary school standing in the middle of the playing field during a snowstorm chasing snowflakes, trying to catch one on my tongue. They were falling down all around me, yet no matter what I did I couldn’t get one to land on my tongue. I’d spot one still way up high and follow it while I ran around in circles never catching anything but ending up a little dizzy.

I feel like I’ve been chasing snowflakes with The Scientist ever since he was born, and now I’m still standing in the middle of the playing field with snowflakes of information, screening tests, appointments, labels all falling around me. I’m not going to run around on the field chasing a snowflake from the distance; I’m going to stand my ground and catch what comes my way.

I had The Scientist in SLC yesterday for an intake appointment and left with no more answers than when we went up, but with the validation that I wasn’t wasting energy chasing after something that doesn’t exist. I can’t remember a time I’ve felt as relieved as I did when the psychologist said “I think we’ve got layers of things going on here and it’s going to take some work to pull them apart” The joy in someone seeing what I am seeing and having the resources to help.

I have a GAR filled out, ADOS (testing? eval? appointment? whatever it gets referred to as) with a neuropsych eval at the end of the month. An appointment is being set up for genetic counseling and a sleep study. I think my snowstorm just turned into a blizzard, and I’m still standing out on the playing field.

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