Posts Tagged ‘bah humbug’

Happy Holidays everyone!

I dread Christmas season for several reasons. The outside pressure of “What are you doing?” with the shocked horror on people’s faces that I am scheduled to go into work for a few hours. It’s not as if there is some magic wand somewhere that holds the power for people to not get sick and not need hospitals on holidays. It’s not like I went into nursing thinking that I’d get every holiday off. I actually had someone who didn’t realize we do more than just oncology on our floor ask why the oncologists didn’t schedule things differently. Really giving people chemo therapy so their immune system is wiped out and then end up very sick over Christmas break?

The long lists of what people are getting their kids for Christmas when they spent more on one present than we are spending on all three of our kids put together is always a bit rattling too. I don’t want a big Christmas with tons of toys and presents and everything under the sun, but somehow the questioning manages to get under my skin somehow.

The inner pressure of The Great Big Giant List of Things That Must Be Done is harder to deal with than any of the others. I start making lists of candies and cookies in September because baking does get me in a chipper mood no matter the reason, and how better to stay awake in a boring class than trying to figure out how goody plates can be arranged with truffles and which colors should go on the outside of which balls of ganache. Then things must be cleaned, decorated, shiny, and perfect.


Is anything in my life perfect? No, it’s not and it never has been. Honestly I don’t think I’d want it either. It might be nice to try for a while but I quite like things the way they are. It’s my own kind of perfect.

This feeling of dread builds at the end of the year with the worst hitting from Black Friday (another thing I choose to not participate in, I don’t care how cheap I can get that do-dad that I really don’t need or want I’m not getting up at 3 am to stand in line for it) until Christmas Eve. This year, tonight, on Christmas Eve eve I had an epiphany. I may dread Christmas season, but I absolutely love Christmas. I never finish everything on my list of things to do, the perfectly mapped out goody plates always have something missing (this year it’s the eggnog truffles, sorry guys), and no one will likely ever buy me a new car or that class I’d like to take from BetterPhoto. Come Christmas Eve none of that matters; Christmas magic takes over at that point and everything is wonderful.

From sitting around watching the kids share their toys and play their new games to looking for your name on Grandma’s Christmas tree it’s a few days of my kind of perfect. I haven’t not worked a Christmas day or Christmas Eve since I started running EMS, but even being able to give of myself, share my skills with people who really need them, is a piece of my kind of my perfect. I’ve never missed the kids opening a present, or had to be gone all day. Christmas magic floats into my day at work too. Things always go a little extra smooth, people are a little more grateful, and we always have lots of good food to go around.

I hope everyone has a very Happy Holiday and that you are able to enjoy this special time of year.


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