Posts Tagged ‘self portrait’


That’s a different version of the same picture that I posted in the Flickr group. I decided I liked that you couldn’t tell I’d taken it by holding the camera in front of me pushing the shutter button and hoping for the best.

I’m grateful for me. Not in a self absorbed way, but more of a grateful for the life I’ve lived, including the rough patches and that I have the perspective I do. I’m grateful that I’m able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and usually understand their point of view (I don’t always agree, but that’s another matter entirely)

I’m also grateful that I found out today that my remote doesn’t work on my D300 before I went out and attempted family pictures with it.

I have a lot of photography friends who do amazing self portraits, and me — well not so much. I either end up having one the kids release the shutter and end up not getting exactly what I want or I get the {social networking site of your choice} profile picture.

I’m looking forward to somehow, someway getting better self-portraits.

And now, I’m off to update my facebook profile picture.

When I processed it into black and white I liked it better visually (my skin almost always looks better in black and white and the glasses glare was less intrusive) and debated about if I should swap out the pictures.

As I got thinking about living in a world where everything is black and white and surely, that must be easier than what I’m doing now — right? The black and white world still isn’t black and white, it’s all shades of gray and it’s okay that way. That’s what makes life beautiful.


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squash seedlings

Weather is still cool and overcast, perfect for getting some overgrown seedlings into the ground and I was in the mood for some gardening therapy. I could spend all day out there, if only the list of things that need to be done inside magically got done.

I remember my Grandma walking around her garden every morning/evening talking to it and making sure that everything was coming along just right. When company came to visit they often got the tour, being introduced to all the plants along the way. When my Aunt and Uncle quit their jobs to move in with them and be their fulltime caregivers they made sure that they planted the garden.

That last year, the garden produced and just kept on producing. If anyone was without fresh vegetables it was only because we weren’t aware they wanted or needed some.

Up until this point I’d tried a couple of half hearted attempts at a vegetable garden but nothing really took off. When Grandma died, instead of gardening just because it’s what you do when you have extra land I felt drawn to the earth with a strong connection. I’ve always known how to garden, I grew up with a backyard garden.

It’s more than how I get my vegetables in the summer, it’s my connection to Grandma. I feel closer to her with my hands in the dirt (without gloves because those gloves don’t let you do anything, they’re fine if you need to shovel or something but not for everyday gardening) than I do anywhere else. She always had an experimental row, something that ‘doesn’t grow around here’ or that they had never tried before. I usually have something new in my garden too. I also think it’s part of why I like to share what I grow so much. Grandma planted her garden with the needs of the entire neighborhood in mind, not just hers.

Grandma, thanks for the lessons you’ve taught me and thanks for hanging out in my garden with me.

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I was itching to do a self-portrait and while thinking about what I should do to make it more than just a picture of my face I realized how empty I’ve been feeling. I’ve had the patience of a tadpole lately. The list of things I’m fed up with is a mile long. During May I have taken time for me, it’s been years since I’ve had the opportunity on a regular basis and I’m doing it while I can.

Yet I feel empty.

I want to blame my stupid pituitary gland and all the related problems including the medication induced depression. I don’t know if it’s justified or not though. I’m off meds for a few months to have lab work redrawn. I can make it through this right?


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